Holidays, no matter which one, were originally a reason for people to come together in family or community to celebrate or worship an important event. Fireworks, gift giving, egg hunts, midnight mass, eating turkey etc. are all some of the ways we have of expressing a certain kind of jubilance in the celebration. We spend lots of time and money cooking, entertaining, decorating our homes, buying gifts for others, new clothes for whoever needs them and on and on.
How much of what we choose to do over a holiday has to do with what our parents and grandparents did? How about the things that we don’t even think about, but just do because it’s expected or we’ve always done it that way? Have you ever spent time thinking about all of the things that really matter to you about the holiday?
Take Christmas for example. Spend a few minutes and think about what you truly love about it. What part of it has heart and meaning and gives you joy? On the other hand, what do you hate about it or resent? Do you feel compelled to buy gifts for people just because they expect it? ? Are you losing sleep because there is so much you have to do and resenting it because no one is helping much? How much fun is there in the shopping for all of the things that you think you need? Are you putting on a huge feast for the family when all you really want to do is stop, or rest or take a walk with the kids? Is there anxiety around all of the spending that we do in order to make it memorable in some way?
These are all questions that we tend not to ask ourselves because it might mean making a change or that it might upset someone. The truth is that holidays are what we make them. We get to create how we want to express our connection to the event. What if before Christmas the family met to actually talk about how they want to celebrate this year? Who wants to do something different or make a change? Maybe go on a hayride or take the family caroling? How about calling someone who is alone and inviting them over to share the bounty with you? Maybe instead of spending on lots of gifts you take that money and send it to someone who really needs it – whether it’s here at home or starving children in Africa?
There are hundreds of ways to use our time, energy and resources that might be more fun and more meaningful. If we don’t stop now and then and reassess what we are doing and what it means to us then we just keep repeating old patterns. Freedom and expansion come from telling the truth about what is so in this moment that we are living now. Things keep changing and always will. A valuable thing is for the changes to reflect what is important to you as a person, as a family and community now.
My questions are:
1. What gives you joy and truly matters to you about each holiday?
2. What does not? What changes are you will to make?
3. How could you and/or the family celebrate in a meaningful, enriching way?
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