Making changes and resolutions in the new year

One of the things I’ve learned from my clients, over the last twelve years as a life coach, is that people really love to make changes. This is especially true when it means that their lives will be more meaningful, creative or just easier to live.

Of course change is always happening, but most of the time it is happening to us and we are not the instruments of the change. There is a huge distinction between the two. Holding it that whatever is going on is happening to us puts us in the position of the victim. Holding it that we get to choose how we react and experience our life is empowering and the opposite of being a victim. So, how do we do this?

First we need to identify what works, and what isn’t working so well in our lives, whether it has to do with our relationships, money, health, work etc. Frequently we can’t identify what it is exactly, because it feels totally overwhelming and we become stuck in our story about it. We are conditioned to think that the circumstances and drama are what is real. We tend to get lost in the emotions that our thoughts generate about it and so we miss what is really going on. That is how we were conditioned to respond by our family, teachers and our culture in general. It’s how it has been done for centuries. Now the possibility of conscious awareness is available to all of us. It always has been available, we just didn’t get it.

When we are truly clear about what it is that is no longer working, useful or valid in our lives, then we are free to begin to make changes. Change only can take place when we are present enough – in the moment – to remember that we now want something different. We are clear about what that is. We don’t focus on what we don’t want, but on what we do want. It takes intention and commitment to remember. This is where the work is continually ongoing. Our desire to live a fuller, more expansive, purposeful life is what fires the remembering. Over time, through remembering, our new thoughts are generating behavior and circumstances that support our expansion. It’s that time of year that people make New Year Resolutions, which are really the heart’s desire for change. “Re – solution” is creating another/new solution.

So, my questions for you are:

1.     What is not working in your life?

2.     What would you change if you could?

3.     Would you be willing to make the change?

4.     What is wanting a new solution in your life?